I am currently taking “Creativity Bootcamp” taught by Julia Cameron the author of The Artist’s Way. We have had several homework assignments to complete over the duration of the course. For example, morning pages, artists dates, etc. For the 2nd week our homework was “media deprivation” which meant we couldn’t expose ourselves to outside media. This meant we couldn’t watch television, go to the movies, read books, newspapers or magazine and no music with lyrics. Social networking was out too…so no Twitter, Facebook or whatever other network you used just for fun. Work related stuff was ok. You couldn’t use the assignment as an excuse to not do your day job!
I’m a pretty connected person so I thought it might be difficult to not be updating my virtual worlds on a regular basis. But it wasn’t. Not to say I haven’t been tempted but I overall have found it a calming exercise.
I did slip once and watch TV but I was out with friends having brunch at a football bar during World Cup season. So I watched 1 game. 90 minutes of television in 7 days. That’s not too bad.
I haven’t missed watching the news. I got out of the habit of watching it when I cut off my cable last year and since I got it reconnected I rarely watch it anyway.
What I missed the most was reading. To say I am an avid reader is an understatement. I usually read about 2-3 books at a time plus I have about 12 magazine subscriptions. It was really odd to just collect the mail and put the magazines in a pile. And that’s just the print stuff. I have a ton of RSS feeds I read regularly too.
For 7 days the only ideas and input I was getting was self-generated. I got a lot done. Projects I’d been putting off I started to make progress on. I found it easier to write and come up with my own ideas. I felt more connected to my own inner wants and desires the longer I was away from outside stimulus.
After this experience I will be doing media deprivation at least once a week. It really is an exercise in mindfulness and awareness.
I used to absolutely HATE networking. I would avoid it like the plague. But back in 2004 I changed my mind about networking. I changed the way I thought about networking so it changed the way I behaved when I decided to go to an event. I was working exclusively at home at the time.
I decided to figure out what about networking I didn’t like. I hated the small talk. The attempt to talk to a large amount of people and get a bunch of business cards. 90% of whom I never reached out to after the event. Pointless right? The whole reason to go to a networking event is to MEET people. So why wasn’t I following up? Or meeting people with whom I had any chemistry?
Well for starters I wasn’t honoring the fact that I’m an introvert and I was attending too many events. Which guaranteed I’d fail. Why? Well I was brain dead by the time I got to my third event of the week. Who can focus much less carry on a conversation when just being in the room is driving you nuts because you need some quiet.
I started to be more picky about which events I attended. I also gave myself permission to leave early if I felt like it. Why force myself to stay when I’m not enjoying myself? I’d be irritable and quiet – not exactly the way to be if you are looking to connect with people.
So I set myself a goal, I’d aim to connect one on one with at least five people and after that I was free to leave. I wasn’t in the business of collecting business cards just to prove I met a ton of people. I am in the business of creating relationships. Networking is about creating relationships not about numbers. Until you have the relationship thing down the numbers don’t matter.
Nothing is more irritating than someone you barely know trying to sell you something. There is no trust yet. Why would you buy what they are selling? Or how about not talking to someone for months and then asking them for job leads. Annoying right?
Whether networking online/in-person being authentic is important.
What I’ve learned over the years:
Give without expecting anything in return
Stay in touch. Sure email is great but a quick phone call or handwritten note are great too
Be genuinely interested in the other person’s goals
Ask how you can help
Go early to events
It’s not about quantity of connections but the quality of them
Eat before you go so you aren’t hovering over the buffet table
Bring business cards. Sounds crazy to put that on the list but you’d be surprised at how many times I’ve been with people at an event who didn’t have business cards on them. Even if you are unemployed you still need them. There is the old standby Vistaprint but also consider Moo or Expressionery
Forward jobs that aren’t a good fit for you to others even if they aren’t actively looking. You never know it might be their dream job
Know when to move on. Relationships are a two street. If the other person isn’t interested don’t keep trying. It is best to move on to someone who is interested in making a connection. Yes, the rejection will sting but dragging it out is pointless
Go to events that are outside of your industry. It’s easy to stick with groups and organizations that are about your field.
Online networking is a good place to start but try to take the connection offline too
In May, I took the two week course taught by Nancy Ancowitz on Self-Promotion for Introverts at New York University. I had heard Nancy speak on the topic in March as well which is why I decided to take her course. Seminars are great but I like taking longer classes as they give me the opportunity to spend more time on a topic, do more research and ask more questions after I’ve had time to think about the material.
Success is something most of us hope to achieve but without self-promotion we will most likely not achieve our true potential. As an introvert I know there is nothing I hate more than listening to someone brag about their accomplishments. It’s boring and obnoxious which is probably why most introverts hate self-promotion. We are under the misguided notion that self-promotion equals bragging.
It doesn’t.
Self-promotion is a dialogue not a monologue. Most bragging tends to be a monologue of one person trying to impress the other with his/her accomplishments. In most cases they aren’t interested in the other person at all and are dominating the conversation. Trying to sell themselves by any means necessary. Most people hate bragging.
(c) iStockPhoto/robynmac
Self-promotion is about being authentic, creating a dialogue, stating the facts without embellishment and creating connections. To do it well you must know what is holding you back from effective self-promotion. You must understand what makes you unique – your strengths and weakness, even your quirks.
It’s not about selling your soul to the highest bidder. It is about figuring out what you offer the world and letting the world know that you exist. Most people right or wrong prefer to work with people they like. Find out why people have hired you in the past or why they did for your current position. You can use that information in promoting yourself. Figure out what makes you great at your job.
I know there are parts of my job I love and there are others I hate so much I’d rather go to the dentist.
Being a visual learner I created a mindmap of the “Self-Promotion for Introverts” class recently. It contains what I felt were some important take aways. If you want to learn more you can take Nancy’s class in October, read her book – Self-Promotion for Introverts: The Quiet Guide to Getting Ahead or checkout her blog.
The Female Brain written by Louann Brizendine was full of information that I found surprising and inspiring. One would think a book about the female brain a waste of time to read by a woman but in fact the opposite is true. I learned a lot about how my brain is different from the male brain for instance.
The author discusses the female brain from gestation through old age. It’s amazing how much can change over the course of a life time. This book definitely affected how I think about design especially as it pertains to children and adults. It brought up a lot of questions. What appeals to girls at various stages of development? What do women desire in relationships with men and women regardless of sexual orientation? How does sexual orientation manifest in women and when? All interesting questions. What impact does pregnancy, child-birth and parenthood have on a woman’s brain? How does “falling in love” affect the brain and the choices we make? How do we learn?
I believe this is a book that everyone should read regardless of gender. If you are a man it will give you some insight into the opposite sex and if you are a woman it will give you some insight into why you or your children do the things that they do.
If you design for females of any age I think you should read this book. The things you will learn will have an impact on how you think about design and what you give to your audience.
From the woman that wrote “Eat, Pray, Love” – Elizabeth Gilbert a talk in which she discusses taking an alternate view of creativity.
How to find your creative muse:
What purposes define your life?
What enthuses and excites you?
What moves you — physically, spiritually, and emotionally?
What is really important to you?
What things do you cherish or revere?
On what aspects of your life are you unwilling to compromise?
What makes you feel vital and alive?
What inspires you?
What drives you?
What provokes you?
What lifts you out of yourself?
What things help you define and focus on certain goals?
In April I took “Presentation Skills for Introverts” taught by Nancy Ancowitz the author of Self-Promotion for Introverts: The Quiet Guide to Getting Ahead. Click on the mind map image above to enlarge the image. The map highlights the key points that I took away from the course. Presenting is a skill that we all need but requires practice to master. During the course I got to practice not only the verbals but the non-verbals skills of presenting.
There is another session of the class starting Thursdays, 6/10 and 6/17 at 6:30-9:30 p.m.
at New York University’s Washington Square campus. The cost is $110. To register – http://bit.ly/czeJFy
I recently finished reading Emotional Intelligence 2.0. The authors claim that emotional intelligence is more of an indicator of success than IQ. The book has a test you can take to determine your emotional intelligence. The results are grouped into two different categories 1) Personal Competence – Self Awareness + Self Management and 2) Social Competence – Social Awareness + Relationship Management. Once you’ve taken the test you can get tips on how to improve the areas where you received a low score.
The book is worth a look if you are interested in the topic of Emotional Intelligence but also read Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman. You can never know too much about how your feelings and emotions and those of others impact your success or failure in business and in life.
Presenting to an audience can instill all kinds of fears for some many people. The imagination can create havoc with reality. Odds are you aren’t going to pass out or forget everything you have to say. But if you think you are you probably will. It’s that whole self-fulfilling prophecy at work.
I have fears about public speaking and I’ve been an instructor both in-person and online. I recently signed up for “Presentations Skills for Introverts” taught by Nancy Ancowitz , a course that she teaches at New York University.
The biggest take aways are that practice is necessary to get better. If you’re introverted you need to figure out what makes you comfortable in front of an audience. Does size matter? Do you prefer smaller groups to larger groups? Some people find presenting to people they don’t know easier than presenting to those that they do.
Watch other presenters. No one is perfect. Even presenters that we think are good have weaknesses. It was great to be in an environment where I got feedback on my strengths as well as the areas I need to work on.
Here’s my presentation from our last class -
On April 15th taxes are due. If you are a independent contractor or run a small business the 1st quarterly payments are due as well. Where is one to find all that money! Well if you’ve been planning last year paying 2009 taxes shouldn’t be a problem. You should have been saving also for the 1st quarterly payment of the year as well.
Honestly I don’t think too many people do either. I know last year was the first time I really planned for my upcoming taxes. I finally found an accountant after years of doing my taxes myself. They were just getting to complicated and tiresome to do.
I decided to do as much research as possible to make sure 1) I didn’t owe that much in taxes to Uncle Sam and 2) that I really understood where my money was going. Income is easy to track. Who doesn’t like getting money?
But keeping track of receipts and all the other crap that goes along with being financially responsible can be a pain in the ass.
The first thing I did was setup a system to track my expenses and income. To do that I used both Mint.com and Outright.com. I also read Self-Employed Tax Solutions by June Walker to make sure I understood what I needed to track. I linked my Freshbooks invoicing account to Outright.com so I’d know when I got paid and also if I was making a profit or not. Important to know for any business that plans to be around any length of time. I even signed up for a Shoeboxed.com account to track my online purchases. Those were the expenses I tended to forget about. But with my Shoebox account I could keep up with it all. And that frankly was all I cared about. Simplifying my life.
So did all that planning work?
Totally! I went to my new accountant this week. My taxes are done and I’m a lot less stressed out than I was last year.
or checkout her 
written by Louann Brizendine was full of information that I found surprising and inspiring. One would think a book about the female brain a waste of time to read by a woman but in fact the opposite is true. I learned a lot about how my brain is different from the male brain for instance.
and 
.
. The authors claim that emotional intelligence is more of an indicator of success than IQ. The book has a test you can take to determine your emotional intelligence. The results are grouped into two different categories 1) Personal Competence – Self Awareness + Self Management and 2) Social Competence – Social Awareness + Relationship Management. Once you’ve taken the test you can get tips on how to improve the areas where you received a low score. 
Flickr Photos
