Leadership Keys

The stock price for Starbucks is back over $30 a share so it would appear that the hard decisions that Schultz had to make after his return have paid off. Telling your story and Don’t embrace the status quo are two of my favorites.

Which ones do you use in your leadership roles? Or aspire to achieve?

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I read this book several months ago. It was first published in 2007 by Stanford University professor Dr. Robert I. Sutton. The book grew out an of article he wrote for the Harvard Business Review. The response to the initial article was overwhelming, Dr. Sutton was flooded with correspondence from people who had stories to tell about their experience with working with an “asshole” in the workplace. Not surprising really since we have all at one point worked with or for an “asshole”.

The book is broken down into 7 chapters. The first of which I’ll go into is chapter 1 since it discusses “What Workplace Assholes Do And Why You Know So Many“. According to the author there are two tests you should use in order to identify if you are in fact dealing with an “asshole”.

Test One: After talking to the alleged asshole, does the “target” feel oppressed, humiliated, de-energized, or belittled? In particular, does the target feel worse about him- or herself?

Test Two: Does the alleged asshole aim his or her venom at people who are less powerful rather than at those who are more powerful?

At one time or another I’m sure we’ve all had to deal with individuals who fit these criteria and not just at work.

What the author calls the “dirty dozen” – the weapons an “asshole” uses is quite interesting because I’m sure at one point we have all committed one of these 12 behaviors. No one is immune to being an “asshole” on occasion. Or as the author prefers to call a “temporary asshole”. It’s the frequency and degree of the behavior that is a problem. This is when someone enters the “certified asshole” arena.

The Dirty Dozen
Common Everyday Actions that Assholes Use

1. Personal Insults
2. Invading one’s “personal territory”
3. Uninvited physical contact
4. Threats and intimidation, both verbal and non-verbal
5. “Sarcastic jokes” and “teasing” used as insult delivery systems
6. Withering email flames
7. Status slaps intended to humiliate the victims
8. Public shaming or “status degradation” rituals
9. Rude interruptions
10. Two-faced attacks
11. Dirty looks
12. Treating people as if they are invisible

The author doesn’t advocate for a conflict free environment but rather one where demeaning others isn’t the status quo. Aggression and bullying in the workplace happens so we need to know how to handle it.

The book is well balanced in that it covers not only how to identify “asshole” behavior but how it impacts both the person being demeaning as well as the “asshole” dishing out the behavior. Both people suffer in different ways. One might have their spirit broken while the other might experience career/relationship setbacks as a result of their behavior.

Many organizations enforce the no asshole rule, but some do it with a lot more zeal than others. In most places, certified assholes are tolerated, but up to a point. People can get away with being run-of-the-mill jerks and might even score kudos and cash as a result. The rule is applied, but only to flaming assholes, who are punished, “reeducated”, and then expelled if less dramatic measures fail. The imaginary line between an ordinary and a flaming asshole depends on local quirks and customs. An “über jerk” might be crowned after costing the organization a fortune, driving coworkers to the edge of madness, creating horrific PR problems, or exposing the organization to massive legal risküeven though hordes of ordinary jerks continue to get off scot-free – Dr. Robert I. Sutton

I love that the author not only covers organizations, customer/client behavior but also how to deal with our own “Inner Jerk”.

Admitting you’re an asshole is the first step – Dr. Robert I. Sutton. In a nutshell to avoid being or becoming an asshole yourself you need to examine your past and current behavior…know thyself.

© iStockPhoto/keeweeboy

It is no secret that when it comes to wages that women on average make less than men doing the same job. Back in my programmer days I once worked for a company where my salary was several thousand dollars less than a man who had less experience that I did. I actually used to help this man debug his code on a regular basis. He was pretty frank about being clueless. This post isn’t about man-bashing…so relax…

Since the Equal Pay Act was signed in 1963, the wage gap has been closing at a very slow rate. In 1963, women who worked full-time, year-round made 59 cents on average for every dollar earned by men. In 2009, women earned 77 cents to men’s dollar. That means that the wage gap has narrowed by less than half a cent per year!

A recent White House reports notes that women’s gains in education and increased participation in the labor force have not yet translated into wage and income equity; at all levels of education, women earned about 75 percent of what their male counterparts earned in 2009.

It would be easy to say that all the blame lies with men. But that would be over-simplifying the issue. It certainly isn’t only an issue that applies exclusively to women either. Underearning is a disease. You can blame the recession if you want but there are a lot of well-known businesses that have started in recessions and are still around today for example Trader Joes, FedEx, GE and Hyatt. Or you can say there are no jobs but I know a lot of people who have thrived not starved in the current economic downturn.

If you’ve never heard of Barbara Stanny, she’s the daughter of the “R” of H&R Block. That alone would make you assume she knew alot about money but she didn’t. Check out her financial journey on her website.

I heard about her book – Overcoming Underearning®: A Five-Step Plan to a Richer Life from a friend about a year and half ago. I’m a book junkie and I will consume any knowledge necessary to get me to where I want to go. I’ve read A LOT of books on personal finance but besides Women & Money and Secrets of the Millionaire Mind I’d have to say this book like no other reminds me that money like any relationship is a mind game. If you think you don’t deserve it or have negative beliefs about something odds are good that you will live into that story.

Until I really believed I deserved what I was asking for in salary I didn’t get it. I started saying “no” to jobs when I didn’t have prospects and usually a job that paid better would come along as soon as I let go of the crappy opportunity. And when I did say “yes” to jobs that didn’t feel right I usually paid the price in the health department.

Underearning has little to do with the amount of money you make. But it has everything to do with your attitude. An underearner is anyone who earn less than she needs or desire despite her efforts to do otherwise. – Barbara Stanny

Barbara’s book is broken down into three sections:

1. Getting Started – illustrates how to use the book in order to get maximum impact and help you figure out what your barriers are to earning what you desire
2. Taking the Steps – covers the 5 steps that are needed to overcome underearning
3. Ensuring Success – helps you create a plan for continued success and how to track your progress

Overcoming Underearning is a doing book. If you just read it you will not get much out of it. Don’t borrow it from the library either. You want to be able to go back over the exercises to see how much you’ve changed!

The reason most people don’t make what they should isn’t because they aren’t capable of doing so. It’s because they don’t truly believe they deserve it.

One of my favorite quotes says it best…

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure…” – A Return to Love

Being broke isn’t fun….people who say they don’t care about money usually are broke. Stop dimming your light, get out of your own way and go make some money. For no other reason than you deserve it!

• Evil Plans: Having Fun on the Road to World Domination
• 100 Things Every Designer Needs to Know About People
• Live Like a Hot Chick: How to Feel Sexy, Find Confidence, and Create Balance at Work and Play
• The GhostWalker series by Christine Feehan – Trashy novels are a summer must. There is only so much work related crap the brain is interested it. Time for FUN!
• Social Psychology: Goals in Interaction (5th edition)

Bring on the summer fun….winter blues are over…

Planning to read this summer? Or spend all your time outside? ;) Either way enjoy!

© iStockPhoto/Franck-Boston

Getting organized is always a resolution for a large majority of people at the beginning of a new year. Most people don’t get very far. It’s a resolution that’s kept as much as the losing weight intention is. Clutter has an energy. Get rid of it and it’s surprising how much better you feel.

I am by no means an expert organizer. I can create a gigantic mess with the best of them. Anything in my digital life is organized but the physical world is another matter entirely.

Books I’ve found helpful for getting organized in general

• Unclutter Your Life in One Week
• Organizing from the Inside Out, Second Edition: The Foolproof System For Organizing Your Home, Your Office and Your Life
• The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Dealing with my finances

• Women & Money: Owning the Power to Control Your Destiny
• Mint.com – so I know how much I’m spending and hopefully saving too!
• Statements from banks and credit card companies are all digital. Save a tree. Sign up for electronic statements.
• Receipts have a home at Shoeboxed
• BillMinder from return7 simplifies your life by tracking your bills. One time or recurring expense it doesn’t matter.

Try something new… see a professional

• Open Spaces Feng Shui from Ann Bingley Gallops offers a more holistic approach. It isn’t just about getting organized. More like energizing your Chi.
• Spacial Harmony from Dara Finkel working with her could bring “serenity and peace”.

Even though I have a iPod Touch and a Blackberry I use a notebook as a daily log. Simply because it’s hard to talk on the phone and type. Sketching during a meeting is simple. I just start each day with the date at the top and scribble from there. I don’t write to-do lists in there because they already have a home.

There are tons of websites and books to help you create a system that works for you. Stick with it for a few weeks at least before you give up. Changing habits require at least 30 days according to the experts.

My final word is to pick just one thing and finish it. Don’t try to get rid of a year’s worth of clutter in 1 day. It won’t work. Start small but start. It won’t get better by just thinking or staring at it. If it worked that way we’d all have clean desks or houses and a working schedule just by wishing it were so.

© iStockPhoto/kertlis

The books I couldn’t put down in 2010

1. Self-Promotion for Introverts: The Quiet Guide to Getting Ahead by Nancy Ancowitz – as an introvert this book has been a great reference and affirmation for what works for me and what doesn’t when it comes to promoting myself. I learned I was already doing alot to honor my own style. Not necessarily the way an extrovert would but one that works for me. I wrote several posts about my experiences with Nancy both as an instructor for self-promotion and presentation skills for introverts.
   Below are the posts: –
   • Self Promotion for Introverts as presented by Nancy Ancowitz
   • What I learned during “Presentation Skills for Introverts
   • Lessons learned: Self-Promotion for Introverts

   Follow her on Twitter for Self-Promotion for Introverts® tips – @NancyAncowitz

2. The Female Brain by Louann Brizendin – in my post “What makes women unique? “The Female Brain” reveals many secrets.” I discussed what I learned from reading this book. It’s funny as a woman you’d mistakenly think you know everything about your brain but there is a lot that science can teach about why and how we do the things we do. This book answers some of those questions.
3. Trust Agents: Using the Web to Build Influence, Improve Reputation, and Earn Trust by Chris Brogan and Julien Smith – a solid overview of social media and why it’s more about relationship building than the tools you use.
4. Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow by Elizabeth Lesser – Sharon Salzberg, is one of America’s leading insight meditation teachers and spirituality writers said it best when she said that the book
   

   “bravely and beautifully explores one of the most compelling questions of life: How do we emerge from suffering and challenge with real, encompassing wisdom and love? Broken Open is personal, pragmatic, and enlightening.”

   Broken Open presents some great questions to ponder: Do we give-up when bad things happen? Stay angry forever? Or learn and grow from the experience. The book is filled with stories. Yes, some tragic but how the individuals or families chose to live in spite of what happened is a testimony to what the human spirit can achieve. We can’t choose what fate throws at us but we can choose our reaction to it. One doesn’t have to live with the “why me” syndrome. Be like a Phoenix and rise from the ashes. Shit happens regardless of our best intentions.

5. Unfolding the Napkin: The Hands-On Method for Solving Complex Problems with Simple Pictures by Dan Roam the follow-up to The Back of the Napkin: Solving Problems and Selling Ideas with Pictures is a great book to learn how to solve problems visually. It is a workshop in a book. You just have to spend the time doing the exercises. Even if you think can’t draw it doesn’t matter. I plan to re-read both of Dan’s books in 2011 just to reinforce what I learned.

It’s no secret I read a lot. I have run out of space on my bookshelf at home. The next step is to go digital I suppose but I think I would miss the feel and smell of the real thing. I probably only read about 5% fiction books. In 2010, I only read 3 – The Host: A Novel by Stephanie Meyer, An Echo in the Bone: A Novel (Outlander) by Diana Gabaldon and Breaking Dawn (The Twilight Saga) by Stephanie Meyer (The movie adaptation will probably suck given it’s PG 13 rating. As my 1st and only Twilight book it was better than expected).

What’s on my reading list for 2011

• The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn’t
• Idea Mapping: How to Access Your Hidden Brain Power, Learn Faster, Remember More, and Achieve Success in Business
• Buyology: Truth and Lies About Why We Buy
• Iconoclast: A Neuroscientist Reveals How to Think Differently
• How We Decide
• Under Her Skin: How Girls Experience Race in America (Live Girls)
• Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard
• What’s Your Story? Storytelling to Move Markets, Audiences, People, and Brands
• The Creative Habit: Learn It and Use It for Life

 

So what’s your top 5 books for 2010? Knowing myself as I do, my reading list will definitely get longer. Happy reading!




]]> http://shelley-ann.com/2010/12/my-top-5-books-for-2010/feed/ 0 http://shelley-ann.com/2010/06/what-makes-women-unique-the-female-brain-reveals-many-secrets/ http://shelley-ann.com/2010/06/what-makes-women-unique-the-female-brain-reveals-many-secrets/#comments Tue, 08 Jun 2010 00:07:57 +0000 Shelley http://shelley-ann.com/?p=1608

(c) iStockPhoto/Eraxion

The Female Brain written by Louann Brizendine was full of information that I found surprising and inspiring. One would think a book about the female brain a waste of time to read by a woman but in fact the opposite is true. I learned a lot about how my brain is different from the male brain for instance.

The author discusses the female brain from gestation through old age. It’s amazing how much can change over the course of a life time. This book definitely affected how I think about design especially as it pertains to children and adults. It brought up a lot of questions. What appeals to girls at various stages of development? What do women desire in relationships with men and women regardless of sexual orientation? How does sexual orientation manifest in women and when? All interesting questions. What impact does pregnancy, child-birth and parenthood have on a woman’s brain? How does “falling in love” affect the brain and the choices we make? How do we learn?

I believe this is a book that everyone should read regardless of gender. If you are a man it will give you some insight into the opposite sex and if you are a woman it will give you some insight into why you or your children do the things that they do.

If you design for females of any age I think you should read this book. The things you will learn will have an impact on how you think about design and what you give to your audience.




]]> http://shelley-ann.com/2010/06/what-makes-women-unique-the-female-brain-reveals-many-secrets/feed/ 3 http://shelley-ann.com/2010/05/emotional-intelligence-2-0/ http://shelley-ann.com/2010/05/emotional-intelligence-2-0/#comments Thu, 20 May 2010 23:36:22 +0000 Shelley http://shelley-ann.com/?p=1543 I recently finished reading Emotional Intelligence 2.0. The authors claim that emotional intelligence is more of an indicator of success than IQ. The book has a test you can take to determine your emotional intelligence. The results are grouped into two different categories 1) Personal Competence – Self Awareness + Self Management and 2) Social Competence – Social Awareness + Relationship Management. Once you’ve taken the test you can get tips on how to improve the areas where you received a low score.

The book is worth a look if you are interested in the topic of Emotional Intelligence but also read Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman. You can never know too much about how your feelings and emotions and those of others impact your success or failure in business and in life.




]]> http://shelley-ann.com/2010/05/emotional-intelligence-2-0/feed/ 0 http://shelley-ann.com/2009/12/give-these-books-as-holiday-presents-this-year/ http://shelley-ann.com/2009/12/give-these-books-as-holiday-presents-this-year/#comments Mon, 14 Dec 2009 06:10:00 +0000 Shelley http://shelley-ann.com/2009/12/give-these-books-as-holiday-presents-this-year/ With the holiday season upon us, knowing what to give as a gift is on everyone’s minds. I have a few suggestions to make gift selection easier.



1. With Trust Agents: Using the Web to Build Influence, Improve Reputation, and Earn Trust you’ll learn everything you need to know about how to be successful in social media. Considering how hot social media became this year even if it’s just to get a better understanding of what’s going on this book is a must read.
2. Six Pixels of Separation: Everyone Is Connected. Connect Your Business to Everyone. is another great book about social media with tools and tips on how to get the most out of this emerging space
3. A Whole New Mind: Why Right-Brainers Will Rule the Future lets us know why right brain thinkers are the best thing since sliced bread. We need to be ready when right brain thinking becomes the way of the future and this book outlines it in easy to read manner. We follow the author as he takes tests and talks about what he learns about how the brain works and why it matters in today’s business world.
4. Unclutter Your Life in One Week is a step by step guide to de-clutter your life. What a better way to begin 2010 than to get rid of all the crap you don’t need. This book outlines how to go about doing just that in an easy to follow way. There is even a website Unclutterer.com if you need more tips.

I hope these recommendations make finding a present easier or maybe you could decide to get one of these books for yourself. Happy Holidays!




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I recently read My So-Called Freelance Life: How to Survive and Thrive as a Creative Professional for Hire by Michelle Goodman based upon the recommendation of a friend. I have to say I thought that after read a bunch of other books about freelancing and doing it for over 5 years I didn’t think I was going to learn a lot. Not the best attitude to have, but I read on average 5 books at once so I don’t like to start a book unless I’m going to finish it.

The guide covers everything from creating a business plan, developing a marketing strategy and dealing with clients. Most people skip creating the business plan because they think it needs to be complicated and long. Well that need not be the case. The author discusses why having a business plan is important i.e. for clarifying what you are doing, why you are doing it and also can you make a living at it.

The section on pricing in the book is worth the cost of the book. Figuring out how much to charge is one of THE biggest challenges most people face. I know I still struggle with it. I want to be fair to the client but I also need to charge what my services are worth. Someone will always want the cheapest price they can get for a job but usually I know that person is someone I am not meant to serve.

If you are new to freelancing or just need a kick in the butt to straighten out your business this book is a must read. The section about contracts is great too. If you know any good contract attorneys send them my way!

Michelle blogs at anti9to5guide.com or follow her tweets @anti9to5guide




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