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It is no secret that when it comes to wages that women on average make less than men doing the same job. Back in my programmer days I once worked for a company where my salary was several thousand dollars less than a man who had less experience that I did. I actually used to help this man debug his code on a regular basis. He was pretty frank about being clueless. This post isn’t about man-bashing…so relax…

Since the Equal Pay Act was signed in 1963, the wage gap has been closing at a very slow rate. In 1963, women who worked full-time, year-round made 59 cents on average for every dollar earned by men. In 2009, women earned 77 cents to men’s dollar. That means that the wage gap has narrowed by less than half a cent per year!

A recent White House reports notes that women’s gains in education and increased participation in the labor force have not yet translated into wage and income equity; at all levels of education, women earned about 75 percent of what their male counterparts earned in 2009.

It would be easy to say that all the blame lies with men. But that would be over-simplifying the issue. It certainly isn’t only an issue that applies exclusively to women either. Underearning is a disease. You can blame the recession if you want but there are a lot of well-known businesses that have started in recessions and are still around today for example Trader Joes, FedEx, GE and Hyatt. Or you can say there are no jobs but I know a lot of people who have thrived not starved in the current economic downturn.

If you’ve never heard of Barbara Stanny, she’s the daughter of the “R” of H&R Block. That alone would make you assume she knew alot about money but she didn’t. Check out her financial journey on her website.

I heard about her book – Overcoming Underearning®: A Five-Step Plan to a Richer Life from a friend about a year and half ago. I’m a book junkie and I will consume any knowledge necessary to get me to where I want to go. I’ve read A LOT of books on personal finance but besides Women & Money and Secrets of the Millionaire Mind I’d have to say this book like no other reminds me that money like any relationship is a mind game. If you think you don’t deserve it or have negative beliefs about something odds are good that you will live into that story.

Until I really believed I deserved what I was asking for in salary I didn’t get it. I started saying “no” to jobs when I didn’t have prospects and usually a job that paid better would come along as soon as I let go of the crappy opportunity. And when I did say “yes” to jobs that didn’t feel right I usually paid the price in the health department.

Underearning has little to do with the amount of money you make. But it has everything to do with your attitude. An underearner is anyone who earn less than she needs or desire despite her efforts to do otherwise. – Barbara Stanny

Barbara’s book is broken down into three sections:

1. Getting Started – illustrates how to use the book in order to get maximum impact and help you figure out what your barriers are to earning what you desire
2. Taking the Steps – covers the 5 steps that are needed to overcome underearning
3. Ensuring Success – helps you create a plan for continued success and how to track your progress

Overcoming Underearning is a doing book. If you just read it you will not get much out of it. Don’t borrow it from the library either. You want to be able to go back over the exercises to see how much you’ve changed!

The reason most people don’t make what they should isn’t because they aren’t capable of doing so. It’s because they don’t truly believe they deserve it.

One of my favorite quotes says it best…

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure…” – A Return to Love

Being broke isn’t fun….people who say they don’t care about money usually are broke. Stop dimming your light, get out of your own way and go make some money. For no other reason than you deserve it!

Myths about Introverts

1. Introverts don’t like to talk
2. Introverts are shy
3. Introverts are rude
4. Introverts don’t like people
5. Introverts always want to be alone

Introverts’ Strengths

1. Think before speaking or acting
2. Listen more
3. Know a lot about a few topics
4. Are reflective and appear calm
5. Are more detail oriented

Shyness and introversion are not the same. Introversion may appear to be shyness because introverts are more self contained.

Shyness is a social anxiety, an extreme self-consciousness when one is around people… Shy people may feel uncomfortable with one-on-one situations or in group situations. It is not an energy issue; it is a lack of confidence in social situations. It is a fear of what others think of you. It produces sweating, shaking, red face or neck, racing heart, self-criticism, and a belief that people are laughing at you.
– The Introvert Advantage, Marti Olsen Laney Psy.D

Famous Introverts
Abraham Lincoln, sixteenth president
Sir Alfred Hitchcock, film director
Michael Jordon, basketball player and celebrity
Thomas Edison, inventor
Grace Kelly, actress
Gwyneth Paltrow, actress
Laura Bush, former 1st lady
Bill Gates, software pioneer
Candice Bergen, actress
Clint Eastwood, actor/director
Charles Schulz, Peanuts cartoonist
Steve Martin, comedian/actor/writer
Harrison Ford, actor
Michele Pfeiffer, actress
Katherine Graham, late owner of the Washington Post, author

Embracing being an introvert
Being an introvert means accepting introversion unique traits. According to the Myer Briggs test I’m an INFP. Taking the test just confirmed what I already knew about myself. But it is a great starting point for personal development since it helps highlight your strengths.

Introverts get more of their stimulation internally, whereas extroverts seek outside sources – Debra L. Johnson, PhD.

There is nothing wrong with being an introvert. It’s just a different way of experiencing the world.

Recommended Reading:
Self-Promotion for Introverts: The Quiet Guide to Getting Ahead
The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World
Stop Pushing Me Around!: A Workplace Guide for the Timid, Shy, And Less Assertive
The Introvert’s Corner and Self Promotion for Introverts blogs from Psychology Today

The quote on the front cover of Now, Discover Your Strengths claims that the book is a

revolutionary program that shows you how to develop your unique talents and strengths – and those of the people you manage

Well I don’t manage people often so the part about managing people wasn’t that meaningful to me but still intriguing. All that sounded great but how was I going to learn anything about my strengths. Well each book comes with a unique code that works only once online…so sorry you can’t borrow my copy…you then go to the testing website and complete the test. I’m sure the cynics will say that’s a nice way to sell books. If you’ve ever completed the Myer-Briggs test or any sort of personality test you are already familiar with the types of questions tests like these ask.

Strengths Defined

“First, for an activity to be considered a strength you must be able to do it consistently. And this implies that is a predictable part of your performance…The acid test of a strength? The ability is a strength only if you can fathom yourself doing it repeatedly, happily, and successfully.

Second, you don’t have to have strength in every aspect of your role in order to excel…excellent performers were rarely well rounded. On the contrary, they were sharp.

Third, you will excel only by maximizing your strengths, never by fixing your weaknesses. This is not the same as saying “ignore your weaknesses.” The people we described did not ignore their weaknesses. Instead, they did something much more effective. They found ways to manage around their weaknesses, thereby freeing them up to hone their strengths to a sharper point.

I really loved how they described constantly trying to fix your weaknesses as just “damage control”.

According to the authors most people think that with “enough practice almost everything is learnable”. I have to agree there are some things I have a natural aptitude for and others I don’t. I always know when I’m doing something that doesn’t come naturally. I am sure you have had the same experience. It’s like having teeth pulled without being put to sleep. I’ve had that done and I don’t recommend it!

There are 34 themes in the StrengthFinder profile and the book goes into detail about each one. Plus there are stories below each about people with those themes. In case you’re curious here are my top 5 strengths:

1. Empathy – Can sense the emotions of others
2. Connectedness –Believe things happen for a reason and that we are part of something larger than ourselves
3. Restorative – Love to solve problems
4. Individualization – Intrigued by the unique qualities of each person. Impatient with generalizations or “types” because you don’t want to obscure what is special and distinct about each person
5. Command – Desire to take charge. Share opinion.

Honestly I wasn’t exactly thrilled with my results when I first read them and even more so when I returned to the book and read the following.

There is one obstacle barring your progress: Your own reluctance

Two words popped into my head after I read that.

“Bite me!”

Then I kept reading.

I think I am going to focus more on my strengths rather than “damage control”. Why frustrate myself with a losing battle? Like we say in Trinidad – “It’s like spinnin’ top in mud”. You get nowhere.

Being empathic makes me a better user experience designer and so do all the other strengths I have. I always thought picking up on others feelings was kind of weird but after working in Bellevue as a teaching artist and computer graphics instructor with an autistic student. I better saw its value. I got a hug our last day of class. Not an easy thing to have achieved. And he made some money! One of his teachers bought his creation.

On page 130 of the book the authors write

…those things that “you can’t help but…” – are not mundane, commonplace, obvious. On the contrary, your instinctive reactions are unique. They make you different from everyone else. They make you extraordinary

Everyone doesn’t see the world the same way. Honestly it would be boring if we did. Now go discover your strengths!